Archive for March, 2007

A friend of mine (who will remain anonymous on this blog) wrote to me explaining the difficulties he’s having with his marriage. With his permission, I asked if he would rewrite his informal e-mail into a context oriented formal question where I would post it along with my response on this blog. For the record, although I’m a psychology major, I’m in no way a professional. Therefore, any information contained herein is for entertainment purposes only. Furthermore, as I find these types of things interesting, if any of you would like to e-mail me your relationship/marriage/sex oriented problems, I’ll do my best to answer them and post them here. Also, it would be neat to read the reader responses so comment away! Everything, of course, will be anonymous. Click here to send your questions.

Dear X,

My wife and I have been married for approximately 8 years. In the beginning it was great. Our conversations were numerous and the sex plentiful. Unfortunately, all of that has changed for the worst. But, I don’t think it’s anything I’m doing that’s wrong, at least not anything so serious that it would warrant this type of behavior from her. Our conversations are superficial and plastic. Unless it’s about work or the weather outside, nothing deep or meaningful is discussed. Any attempt on my part to talk about our relationship, the meaning of life, anything of substance or whatever, is ignored. She just sits there, quietly. Worse yet, when I share with her my feelings that communication is extremely important to me, and that ignoring me makes me angry, she either continues sitting like a statue looking out the window, or leaves the room. Sex is about as successful as our conversations. She appears to be completely uninterested. Any kind of physical contact is initiated by me. I’m the one that will come and kiss her in the evening, or rub lotion on her back, or request sex. Sometimes, I feel like I’m more of the woman and her the man in the sense that I’m begging for romance and trying very hard to please her. I’ll give you an example. The other evening she wasn’t feeling well, so I told her to go to bed and read, or whatever, and I would take care of everything. I ran downstairs and made her dinner where I brought it to her in bed. Then I vacuumed and mopped all of the floors, and cleaned the kitchen. The next day, thinking that she would still be tired and not wanting to do any work, I took her out to eat and did all of the laundry. Other than her saying, “Thanks” there was nothing. No kiss, no touch, no passion, no anything. I don’t know what to do, dude. Can you help?


I understand that you’re frustrated and disappointed with the current state of your marriage. Let’s look at this rationally and logically. First, you might think that there are multiple problems with your marriage, but really there’s only one. Whatever that problem is, it’s manifesting itself via symptoms such as 1) communication problems, and 2) a lack of lovemaking. To be redundant, you don’t have a separate communications problem and a separate sex problem. One major problem is affecting both areas.

As you probably know, like most colds, you can treat the symptoms, but not the cold itself. What you need to do is find the root cause of your symptoms. Solve that, and the other problems go away.

In any event, nothing can be solved unless both of you are willing to sit down and discover the festering problem that exists. Be forewarned, however, and open to the possibility that you may have done something that has caused her to behave in a rejecting manner. I’m not saying you have, but be open to the possibility. Usually when a person feels rejected, which is what I think you’re feeling, hurt turns into anger, but I don’t think it’s wise that you enter this conversation with the mindset that she’s exclusively the one to blame. It’s possible that the fault may lie with her, but please be open to her side of the story because you may learn something about yourself that you didn’t know existed or happened. It’s human nature, it seems, to always want to blame someone else; it’s easier that way, and boy don’t we all love the path of least resistance which is what blaming is. Therefore, make it a point to sit down with her, and from the outset explain that you want to talk about your relationship and that your open to any and all ideas about 1) the nature of the problem, and 2) what the solution is. Hell, she may tell you that she’s been fantasizing about having a threesome with you but didn’t know how to tell you, and was scared about what your reaction might be. I’m kidding, of course, but I wanted to end this with something that might put a smile on your face. Good luck, my friend.


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What the hell is wrong with us? Our government is considering passing a non-binding (pun intended?) resolution demanding that Japan apologizes to China and Korea because they used Chinese and Korean women as sex slaves in the 1940’s? Christ, is there any limit to our involvement. It’s so pedantic! Therefore, I’ll offer a solution. To hell with Japan, China, and Korea. It’s not our problem. See, that was easy. Now, can we concentrate on the the environmental, educational, immigration, and health care issues that are plaguing this country? Sorry, had to ask.

Moreover, before we demand that other countries apologize for slavery, wouldn’t it be logical that we would apologize for our own? Yet nothing our government does is logical and the refusal of our legislators to unabashedly and officially apologize for ours while demanding that of other countries is hypocritical. Thus is the arrogance of America and why we’re hated so fiercely around the world.

Japan’s PM apologizes to WWII-era sex slaves
“Abe’s earlier denial of coercion drew intense criticism from Beijing and Seoul, which accuse Tokyo of failing to fully atone for wartime invasions and atrocities.

The issue also has stirred debate in the United States, where a committee in the House of Representatives is considering a nonbinding resolution calling on Tokyo to fully acknowledge wrongdoing and make an unambiguous apology.”

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If Israel attacked Lebanon, killing over 1,000 civilians, as a response to Hezbollah’s capturing of 2 Israeli soldiers, why isn’t the United Kingdom launching a ground war into Iran as we speak? I mean really, if Israel’s response was appropriate and justified, the UK will be launching an assault, complete with cluster-bombs that don’t detonate until after the skirmish, within the next 72 hours.

Iran Captures 15 British Soldiers

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So you thought (or took Bush & Co. for their word) that the Afghanistan and Iraq wars were for the eradication of Al-Qaeda. Wrong! Many pundits (realists I may add) have suggested the Middle Eastern adventure was to reshape that portion of the world into a more American/Israeli (or do I repeat myself?) friendly region.

According to a recent Newsweek report, troop levels in the Middle East are substantially higher than what has been reported by the Bush administration. This can mean only one thing: The next target, regardless of all of the rhetoric indicating otherwise, is most certainly Iran — which is currently surrounded U.S. Military forces. But Syria and Lebanon should be squirming as well as confrontation looms on the horizon. Below are just a few statistics of troop levels in the region.

The administration has reported that after the 21,500 surge (or according to Condoleeza Rice, “augmentation”) troop levels will be at 173,500. In “Deployments: The Real Numbers,” Rod Nordland reports, “Last August, for instance, the Congressional Research Service, quoting the Department of Defense’s Contingency Tracking System, put the total deployment at 260,000, while the number actually in Iraq was at 140,000 to 160,000.”

Essentially, there are an extra 100,000 troops stationed in and around Iraq that aren’t being reported. Is it really that hard to figure out why?

Go here to read the full Newsweek article.

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south-park.jpgLast night’s episode of South Park was pure genius. Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the show’s creators and writers, drew the analogy of lice living on a person’s head to humans living on planet earth. The real analogy, however, is not that humans are like wingless phthiraptra, but that the earth has a consciousness just like the planet of the lice (a humans head).

When one of the children washed his hair with a prescription shampoo to kill the lice, the lice reacted to the “catastrophe” by running for their lives to escape environmental destruction. The louse hero tried to warn his fellow lice that their “planet” had a consciousness and was reacting with harsh purposefulness. Rebuking the hero, and much like our contemporary world, there were political lice who stated that planets (nature) don’t have a life force or a consciousness, and that the catastrophe which wiped out the majority of the lice population was a “natural disaster,” a pure accident of nature.

People can say what they want about the alleged offensiveness of many South Park shows, but in my opinion, it is the most original thing going, on today’s networks anyway. We need more intellectual offensiveness.

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Lately, I’ve noticed that there have been a lot of search inquiries to the phrase “De Omnibus Dubitandum,” which so happens to be the title of this blog, and it has lead a lot of people here. To their misfortune, however, the meaning or translation of that phrase is nowhere to be found… until now.

De Omnibus Dubitandum means “All is to be doubted.” It’s Latin of course, and the phrase is attributed to Rene Descartes (1596-1650), the notable French philosopher.

I’m quite fond of the phrase because it serves as the foundation for those with a skeptical, independent, free, and inquisitive mind. Some of us have this by nature, an innate desire to demand proof and evidence before latching on to a belief system or ideology. In others, this desire needs to be cultivated.

Unfortunately, the struggle between society’s demanding of conformity and the individual’s desire to live freely causes great stress in the lives of all of us. That stress varies in intensity whereas some barely notice the symptoms while others develop a kind of neurosis. Regardless, doubt, doubt, doubt!

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I’m quite bored right now, so I’ve decided to post some random thoughts on this blog. Trust me, there will be no direction or focus, only a little something to pass the time by. The most fun I have when writing is when there are no parameters, which is rarely the case.

Wednesday night was the first episode in the new season of South Park and it was quite a success given that CNN covered it. I’m not sure if it’s a record for a television show (cartoon or otherwise), but the four young-ins from Colorado, and other show characters, managed to use the dreaded “N-word” over 40 times. Granted, the context was different than one might expect, but I find it encouraging that the creators of the hit series haven’t lost their motivation to offend, shock, and offer a moral all at the same time. How could anyone not love this show?

Work is pretty much at an all time low; there seems to be a dark cloud of demonic hell-dust covering this place. Barring complete employicide, I don’t see any way to change the corporate culture here. Back-stabbing, lying, cheating, and general nastiness is rewarded, while compassion and generosity is chastised. I’ve tried for 8 years to figure it all out, and I’ve given up. Now, I go to work with no concern over what happens while I’m there.

The school semester is almost over, and I hope to finish my last assignments this weekend. I’m kind of bummed though that the Philosophy class had to end. It’s a great subject (my favorite!) and reading Thoreau again made me want to spend two years on a pond in seclusion, living the simple life. But, this isn’t to be; instead I’m mired in corporatism, which is essentially a dung-hill.

Finally, my newest guitar showed up yesterday. It’s an Ovation CC057: sunburst-cherry red, Spruce top, maple neck, rosewood fingerboard, with diamond and dot inlays. Prrrr, prrrr, prrrrr. I immediately mineral oiled the neck with GHS Fast Fret, buffed the frets with Planet Waves Fret Polishing System, Polished the top with Ernie Ball Polish, and restrung it with D’Addario EJ11 80/20 Bronze Strings (Gauge: .012 – .053). This guitar plays so beautifully that’s it difficult to describe. The tone is exceptional over lows, mids, or highs. Also, the shallow-bowl composite back fits perfectly with my skinny self (149 lbs as of this morning).

And last but not least, the latest headlines read that the FBI abused the Patriot Act and spied on American citizens. Like duh? Who didn’t know that was going to happen? I still find it funny though that the sheeple don’t understand that the Patriot Act in and of itself is an abuse.

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